The False Fear Of Emotions

April 21, 2018 fm

Thousands of speeches. Thousands of people, characters, personalities. In 12 countries. I have had them all: the introverts and the extroverts, the geeks and the alpha dogs, the eternal sunshines and the heavy souls. But one thing never failed – ever: The one thing that builds positive human connections – more than anything else – is making ourselves vulnerable.

I have heard it all: the boyfriend who beat her, the girlfriend who died, the difficult relationships with fathers, the kleptomaniac behavior during teenage years, the depressions and the burnouts, the accidents and the broken dreams, the betrayal of a friend and the betraying of a friend, the alcoholic mothers and the drug addicts, the bullies and the bullied, the cancers and the deaths. In the end, I have heard thousands of speeches about the dark side of life.

And in all those training rooms from Munich to Miami I learned one unshakable fact:

The darker it gets the more I connect.

Why then are people so afraid of making themselves vulnerable in front of others?

I have no idea. But I am convinced, I know it, for sure: This fear of emotions is false!

Your assumptions and preconceptions aside, do you know what others really say to you, once your hurt soul opens up like a spring flower?

  • I only knew the professional side of you. It has been great to get to know the other side as well.
  • I thought you were super brave when you shared the story about your family with us.
  • Now, I feel much more connected with you. 
  • Thank you so much opening up your soul today.
  • Before, I always felt there was a distance between us. This distance is gone.

When I published this post, I had experienced 8,438 speeches in my corporate trainings. It is a good statistical base. In all those speeches vulnerability has always been on the positive side of feedback. Not one exception. It taught me one thing: Emotions can never be wrong.

Are you interested in building more and better human relationships? Then give it a shot! Be more vulnerable in front of others.

_____

Photo by @matthewhenry

Comments (2)

  1. Siegfried HAACK

    Thank you, Florian, for this inspiring post. It opens the field to new possibilities for me!

  2. fm

    Thanks, Siegfried! Let me know how it went, once you entered the delightful darkness.

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