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Undefeated for 2,300 years… Football Club Rhetoric.
This team is not about winning a game. This team is not about winning a league. This team is about winning, persuading, motivating, inspiring your audience.
Who are these extraordinary players of this extraordinary team?
Alliteration, the goalie. He is not good, he is great! His saves are gigantic. He always goes for gold!
Anaphora is the fastest player in the league. When Anaphora runs down the left wing, his opponents start to panic. When Anaphora runs down the left wing, the F.C. Rhetoric supporters jump to their feet. When Anaphora runs down the left wing, the other team knows they are in big trouble.
The poet of the team – Chiasmus. He loves to cross – on and off the field. Once at a team retreat he started his birthday toast with the words, “My life in your feet.” He ended his speech saying, “Your feet in my life.”
Climax is a good defender technically wise. Even better is his attitude of never giving up. What makes him the best central defender of the league is his spooky gift of anticipating passes.
For the right wing defender Epizeuxis only one thing matters in the world: Victory, victory, victory.
Metaphor is an animal. He runs faster than a leopard. He has the lungs of a horse. He has the eyes of an eagle.
Boom! When Onomatopoeia breaks attacks of the opponents in the midfield –bang – it snacks, crackles, pops.
The game of the team captain is of modest magnificence. Oxymoron is famous for his humbly bold statements at press conferences.
Paralipsis holds the team record of red cards. He keeps bugging the defense with statements like, “I am not your father to tell you that you are a loser!” Another favorite of his is this one: “I will not mention my enormous satisfaction to score three goals against you.” According to coach Aristotle Paralipsis ends up in fights too often.
When Personification dribbles the ball through the enemy’s rows, the balls turns into a monster. It creeps and crawls, it tumbles and falls, up on its feet, it vigorously marches towards its destiny. Unstoppable. Goal.
11 Rhetorical Question
His comrades always make fun of his weird double-barreled name. Yet, Rhetorical Question is the great motivator of the team. When they are about to lose – in the half time – he will get on a chair and shout at the rest of the team… “After 2,300 years of sweat, after 2,300 years of tears, after 2,300 years of triumph – do you really want to lose this game? Will you allow others to taste the sweet juice of victory? Will you go out there and fight like Leonidas and his men?”
11 fantastic players! 11 fantastic players for your winning speech!
Of course, a winning team needs more than 11 players. 11 players win a game, but it’s the bench and the substitutes who win the league.
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